you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i came on her dog
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
