All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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