so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
