I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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