at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
