i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm passing your future prison.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
