google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
