I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
