Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
