Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I am midnight drunk by noon
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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