he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
