i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
