I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
