What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
