She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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