K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
