dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
