You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
