Sponge bath it is.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
