Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
