Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
