imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
