i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
