I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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