I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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