Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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