Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
