like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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