508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
