Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
