I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
