I heard we made out
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
