That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
