Christians are straight up FREAKS
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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