u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
