Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You're a waste of cheezeits
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
