There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
