It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
