this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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