is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
