O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
