Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
