at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
