I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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