Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
