I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
