I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
