Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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