This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
