found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
