this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I'm always down for nudity.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
